“…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20
There’s a hidden treasure in James 1:19-20 that we might miss if we don’t track with the argument James is making. Notice the word “for” at the beginning of verse 20. That lets us know that verse 20 is giving us the reason for what comes before it. In other words, we need to carefully heed the words of verse 19 because “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” So, James is giving us the formula for anger and calling us to avoid it so that we can produce the righteousness of God in our hearts instead.
The formula for being quick to anger in disagreements is found by looking at the opposite of the commands in verse 19. If you want to be quick to anger, then there are two things you should do: be slow to listen to others and quick to respond. When we fail to listen to others, then we’re also failing to empathize. A failure of empathy leads to a desire to win an argument instead of care for a person. Even if you believe the person is wrong, you can hear them out so that you can respond with grace and wisdom.
When we’re slow to listen and quick to speak, our main concern is nothing more than expressing our opinion, without regard for what the other person is saying. What we feel is most important in those moments is being sure we make our view clear. When that occurs, the voice of another person is perceived to be nothing more than a rude interruption in a one-way conversation. Most of the time that leads to frustration and anger.
If we heed the words of James, however, our Christian instinct should be to listen before we speak. We should put great effort into hearing others; their heart, their concerns, their struggles. Then, and only then, should we gracefully speak into their life. When our ears are quick and our tongues are slow, then we will be far down the path of controlling our temper. Then, we will bring glory to God by shining forth his righteous character to those around us.